Dad

Why are we all surprised by death? It never fails to catch us unawares and yet as my Mexican friend Beli said today it is the one thing that every human being can be absolutely sure of.

My dad just died last Wednesday evening November 24th .I had seen him between the 24th of October and the 6th of November when I took some time to be with my folks. Since I live several thousand miles and two countries away the trip became a very special gift of memories.

Like so many people there was more than one side to my dad. The world was pretty much his friend and his funeral proved that. As my Uncle Paul said "your dad was some kind of rock star in this town... look at this crowd!!" Indeed he was "cousin" , the "uncle ", the father even , of many all over the county .

He loved to talk and you had to have a lot of time if you were going to do business with him. His day could have been much more prosperous financially if he was focused on money but he wasn't and he took more time with people than doing the actual job he came for. I confess that at times I just cringed thinking people were going to be impatient with him but since then I have heard a lot of stories of how people just enjoyed his stories.
I can remember many incidents where dad was not paid for his work and he would simply not go after the person to pay up.. though mom sometimes did to put bread on the table. The little he had in his pocket he would happily give away.

He was very smart in most areas of his life though he was physically less and less able to do the heavy work he had done all his life. At the same time, however, he was known to have placed trust where it was not merited.

There is no one who knew dad better than his kids. Its funny how some people think they know more about the person you lived with continually for years because of how they knew him. He was all the things that people knew him as but he was also more.

His moods , temperament , emotions and passions were often scary to us when we were children. As we grew older most of us just wanted dad to have peace with himself and with God. We could see it beginning to happen in the last three years of his life as he became so much softer and demonstrative towards mom and his own children . It was a very long time coming.

Was dad a wonderful man ? Yes he was in many respects to many people. Was he a person with weakness and sin and unresolved problems ? Yes he was that too .
Did I and do I love him ? Absolutely and unequivocally.. I couldn't do otherwise even when he was at his most unloving. Why ?? Because love covers a multitude of sin. He's the only earthly dad I will ever have.
As we said at his eulogy.. everything was crystal clear to dad after his death. He immediately understood what he had not about himself and others. We are absolutely certain that his message in that instant to all of us would be "give glory to God alone " love your family and care for others. Do not hold grudges or bitternesses against others rather be the first to say I'm sorry no matter who is at fault. Keep daily accounts with God and love Him with all your heart, soul and mind for tomorrow you too could meet the creator face to face.
Some may think it is too soon to be writing this while I am still dealing with my own grief but I feel there is no time like the present.
I love you Dad.